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A re you mildly depressed? Would you like to stay mildly depressed? Welcome, then, to The Nevermets, one of those programmes Channel 4 unofficially specialises in – potentially uplifting but in fact as relentlessly bleak an exploration of the human condition as you are likely to see, and built on a premise that is simple, brilliant and yet somehow still seems the product of sick minds dedicated to squeezing every last drop of hope out of existence. The Nevermets follows various people who have been in online relationships for months, sometimes years, with other people thousands of miles away whom they have not met in real life. They all profess to be in love and have decided it is time to meet.

View image in fullscreen Abandon hope ...



Jgoy and Sarah in front of Jgoy’s house in the Philippines. Photograph: Channel 4 Some are more starry-eyed than others. Seventeen-year-old A-level student Jay is nervous but excited about meeting 26-year-old Veena, who lives in India.

He comes from Bridgwater. “People who are born here usually stay here.” He and the (absolutely charming) Veena have been communicating for hours a day since they met in a Game of Thrones roleplay chatroom 18 months ago.

His romantic writing, she says with a sigh, is “so expressive”. “I would say we’re in love,” is Jay’s position. I wish you could see his mother’s face.

You probably can. “What if you don’t get on?” she says. “I haven’t really thought about it,” he replies.

Twenty-.

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