bymuratdeniz via Getty Images "A people-pleaser needs to recognize the importance of self-care without feeling selfish or guilty," said Imi Lo, a therapist and owner of Eggshell Therapy. The best way to please a people-pleaser? Understand where they’re coming from. For people-pleasers, the tendency to put their needs on the back-burner and prioritize other’s desires usually stems from childhood.
A child learns how to people-please by first learning how to parent-please . “During their formative years, these individuals likely received validation and approval when they fulfilled their parent’s needs, creating a link between self-worth and meeting external expectations,” said Imi Lo, a therapist and owner of Eggshell Therapy . Advertisement The goal in adulthood for people-pleasers should be to unravel learned behaviors and make the shift toward self-compassion, but that’s not a particularly easy task.
“It’s a process of breaking free from the conditioning that shaped their tendencies,” Lo said. “A people-pleaser needs to recognize the importance of self-care without feeling selfish or guilty.” Advertisement If you’re friends, in a relationship or work closely with a people-pleaser, you can support them by not putting them in predicaments where they’re forced to quiet their own needs or wishes.
What kinds of casual statements and requests should you avoid? Below, Lo and other therapists share five situations to never put a people-pleaser in. ‘Come on.
