Janelle Brown is sharing how her first Mother's Day without son Garrison Brown went, including the "destined" sweet treat she baked in his honor. In a touching Instagram post on Monday, the Sister Wives star and mom of six, 55, shared a photo of a delectable-looking strawberry rhubarb pie she made from scratch -- which she told her followers was a "bittersweet" nod to her late son. "Mother's Day was surprisingly emotional for me," she began her post.
"It just never has been a big holiday for me. My children have always shown up for me and made me feel special everyday. Especially since they became independent adults and weren't home all the time.
" "But this year was different," Janelle -- who also is mom to Logan, 29, Madison, 27, Hunter, 27, Gabriel, 22, and Savannah, 19 -- continued. In March, Janelle and her ex-husband, Kody Brown , lost their fourth child together to suicide. The Flagstaff Police Department confirmed in a statement to ET at the time that they were dispatched to Garrison's residence and found him dead after being called by his younger brother, Gabriel.
According to Janelle -- who has kept her social media followers updated on her progress, including her first birthday and Easter without Garrison — the Mother's Day pie she whipped up was clandestine as the ingredients came together seamlessly and it just so happened to be a favorite of Garrison’s. “All weekend I felt the grief so close to the surface. And it was especially poignant when I made this si.
