I love my boyfriend, but he’s not a great lover. Our sex life is good in quantity but bad in quality. I find it awkward to talk about when we’re just having lunch or going for a walk, so I don’t bring it up.
And I’m afraid to say something during in case it affects his performance in the moment. But I could practically be knitting while he gets down to business. How can I change this sexual dynamic before I run for the hills? I’m sorry but you are going to have to talk to your man.
As awkward as it may feel, it’ll be better than just walking away. Maybe he thinks it’s what you like; maybe he doesn’t know any other way; maybe he’s scared to try something new. TALK about it! But I suggest you talk about it somewhere where you can put your words into actions.
So why don’t you suggest taking a bath together? Pour a glass of your favourite bath-time beverage, put on some tunes, light some candles, set the mood. Then start talking. Hopefully, something great will come out of this.
But if not, then he may not be the longtime partner for you. Sex, like religion, parenting, education, financial issues can all be deal-breakers in a relationship. I’m married to a therapist, and though I love his soft-spoken, calm demeanour, I don’t love that I feel he’s always assessing me.
For example, one day when our son was a newborn, I was exhausted. I hadn’t slept in several days as the baby was having trouble latching. Lack of sleep and stress over the baby’s frustra.
