This story is part of the June 30 edition of Sunday Life. See all 14 stories . When I first interviewed women for my PhD thesis about buying sexual services, I was struck by their new-found sexual power.
These women had identified, prioritised and taken the courage to satisfy their sexual needs. They bought sexual services for the same reasons men do – to practise and learn sexual, relationship and consent skills; to experience physical and emotional intimacy; and to have a rocking good-ol-time! “My lifelong interest in sex has enabled me to transcend society: from the lowest sexually shamed woman to the highest professional.” Credit: ISTOCK I’ve interviewed many women since, some who felt sexually powerful and others who didn’t, and I could clearly see a link between feelings of sexual empowerment and the confidence to challenge outdated courtship rules.
Each culture has rules about what good sex is and how women are supposed to behave sexually, and this has created a power imbalance that harms us all. When I started writing my book, Slutdom , about the way sexually empowered women refuse to be slut-shamed, I felt fraudulent because I had been hiding 20 years of feeling sexually powerful, hiding 20 years of my own slutdom. The truth is, I’m just a granny from the suburbs – a retired nurse, sexuality counsellor and academic.
But I had been hiding a big secret. I had been concealing my experience as a sex worker. I loved, and still love, being a sex worker.
Sex w.
