Thirsty? How about a bottle of liberal tears? There was a time when water was apolitical. Liberals , conservatives, independents, we all just drank water. In molecular terms, water is one part oxygen and two parts hydrogen.
It’s like cherry cola: one part gloom and two parts absolutely disgusting. Water does not vote. Water is merely a biological necessity.
But in these polarized times, even what kind of water you drink is now political. At least, that is the hope of the wet brains behind a new “anti-woke” brand. The bottled water, advertised at a conservative conference this weekend, is called Freedom2o .
I suspect execs at Evian and Dasani are not losing any sleep, just as Starbucks did not hold Code Red meetings after Rudy Giuliani stumbled into the Coffee Wars with his troubled brew. A rolling banner atop the Freedom2o website gives possible customers a taste of where this water is coming from: “THIS WATER DOESN’T MAKE SNOWFLAKES.” “THIS WATER AIN’T WOKE.
” “YOU CAN’T DEPROGRAM FREEDOM.” “DRINK THIS WATER OR MOVE TO CANADA.” I endorse that last edict.
The only people who should not move to Canada are people who drink this water. You can’t deprogram freedom. But it takes a village to deprogram a cult.
And a good start is to constantly remind the red hats of a painful truth they choose to ignore: they are the easy marks in a shameless scam by grifters of all stripes. MAGA isn’t a political movement — it’s a shakedown by con artists. Suppor.
