I’m in my 40s. I have grandchildren, and also my own toddler at home. I feel very blessed to have had a baby at my age, but something that has eluded me is female friendships.
I live in a rural area, but I know that’s not really the problem. I long to have a trustworthy friend. My only friend died over two years ago, and since then I’ve been fooled by women who later turned on me.
I’ve always had more guy friends than women friends, but most of those friendships with guys never worked out, as they had ulterior motives. Are there any online sites I could look to for friends? I’m warm, friendly, and caring. I know social media glamorizes people’s lives, but I see women every day with loving and close friendships.
It makes me feel even more like an outsider. Are some of us made to have few or zero friendships? Modern media meant to celebrate women’s friendships tends to characterize gal pals as bonding over cocktails and sharing late-night confessionals, but most actual human beings do not behave in such tidy and agreeable ways. Friendship can be messy, but it is a relationship to treasure.
I don’t think you are “made to have zero friendships,” but you are the common denominator for all of your relationships. According to you, most men have ulterior motives; women fool you and then turn on you. It would be useful for you to review your own past patterns of behavior to see if there are ways you could rewrite your friendship future.
Your only friend has died. Y.
