: As I , my final “Ask Amy” column in this space will run on June 30. (Readers will be able to find me through my newsletter and at amydickinson.com.
) Related Articles Until then, I’ll occasionally open my files and rerun some previously published Q&As. The following is from 2021. : Is the male “midlife crisis” a real thing? After 20 years of marriage, my “pillar of the community” husband started acting strangely.
He started dressing young and going to bars, and then quit sleeping at night. When I found out he had an affair, I blew up and he took off with the young barfly. Our grown daughters and I are hurt and sad that our family life seems over.
I thought we had a great marriage and family. Do these men ever come home? I can easily forgive him and go to counseling to get back on track. We had made all kinds of retirement plans before this happened.
In addition to being a husband and father, he is my best friend, too. Midlife crises are not confined to men. And while these changes can seem very sudden, this is a panicked response to the existential crisis brought on by the realization that one’s life is more than half over.
When the “crisis” moment arrives (sometimes prompted by a death in the family, a landmark birthday, children about to leave the nest, or job frustration), a person at midlife looks around, sings the old Peggy Lee song, “Is That All There Is?,” and decides that a pumped-up body, a younger partner, or a new toy in the garage will fix.
