Marriage is full of highs, lows and a whole bunch of ordinary moments in between. Somehow the married people on X, formerly known as Twitter, continue to find humor in the minutiae of wedded life. Every week, we round up the funniest marriage tweets on the platform.
Read on for 20 relatable ones that will have you laughing in agreement. A gender reveal but it’s me and my husband opening up the speed trap camera ticket to see who was behind the wheel Marriage is great except for the part where you find out you make too much noise breathing and eating. What wine pairs best with finding out my in-laws are staying two days longer than planned The average person who is not married to my husband has NO IDEA how much soccer one can watch on TV.
marriage is sneezing 3 times in a row and then hearing someone in the next room yell “JESUS CHRIST” My wife claimed “I bring shame to my family” when I asked Lowe’s customer service questions about the return policy and made jokes like “We’ll wipe it down with Clorox” and “No visible butt prints” about the toilet seat she picked out and had us shamelessly lugging around. my wife: you look like you’re delivering the mail me: what do you mean pic.twitter.
com/8Xu6qWQOBP My wife asked if I wanted to get together with friends today. I said no. So we meet up with them at 3 today.
I asked my husband to get me hemorrhoid cream because I knew he'd have to ask the person at Target to get it out of the locked cabinet. I don't act.
