It was a bad sign when the menu listed five martinis and none of them was an actual martini. It was a Friday night, and we were trying out a local establishment with a considerable reputation and longevity. I'm not going to name it because, well, anyone can have a bad day.
It was a hot night, and I wanted a martini. I also like martinis on cold nights, but that is not important now. The five martinis on the menu all featured vodka mixed with a sweet liqueur.
But true martinis do not have sweet liqueur in them, and neither do they have vodka. A traditional martini is a combination of gin and dry vermouth, period. If you insist on having a martini with vodka and vermouth, you would call it either a vodka martini or a kangaroo kicker.
I don't know what you would ask for if you wanted vodka and a sweet liqueur. I asked for a martini. I asked if it would be possible to make it from two parts gin and one part vermouth.
"Sure," said the waiter, who looked to be in his 20s. "That's two parts gin and one part of what else?" Uh-oh. "Vermouth," I said.
The waiter looked a little dubious as he dutifully wrote down my order. I only realize now that I should have spelled the out word for him. Five minutes later, we did not have our drinks.
That was not a major problem, because it had only been five minutes. On the other hand, only five other tables were full. Ten minutes later, we did not have our drinks.
That was not a major problem, because we were enjoying our spinach-and-artichoke dip .
