Some important things to tell an 8-year-old: don’t kill anyone, don’t commit adultery, don’t covet your neighbour’s ass. Oh, how much fun they’re about to have in Louisiana, US. The 18th state in the union has now mandated that every classroom must display the Ten Commandments on the wall, as set out in Exodus Chapter 20.
Maybe they’ll go for the abbreviated version of these fire-and-brimstone demands – simply “do not covet” – or change ass to donkey...
although perhaps the inclusion of the “ass” clause will distract giggling children from wondering what adultery is. ALSO READ: Bible among items stolen in Mpumalanga house robbery Because if they ask about adultery they’ll learn that, biblically, half of their parents are likely adulterous, since the divorce rate in the US is 50% and Louisiana has the fourth highest incidence in the land. Thus, biblically, half of their parents should be stoned to death (Leviticus 20).
And while they’re embracing the Old Testament in classrooms, are they going to start sacrificing animals too? That’s right at the bottom of the Ten Commandments (Exodus 20:24) where the Lord adds that he wants an earthen alter, and “sacrifice thereon thy burnt offerings, and thy peace offerings, thy sheep, and thine oxen.” Are the authorities going to insist that a menstruating teacher is unclean for seven days (there’s a lot about this in Leviticus), as is everywhere she sits, so mind where you put your satchel? ALSO READ: Wo.
