featured-image

As I stared down at the two pink lines on the pregnancy test, I felt a range of emotions washing over me. Fear. Excitement.

Anxiety . Confusion. To be clear, this baby was very much wanted.



I had been pregnant twice before and my partner and I knew that we were ready to start a family. But in the two years previous, I’d had a miscarriage and an ectopic pregnancy, so it was hard to not feel apprehensive. In my first two pregnancies I’d decided to wait for the ‘safe’ point – the generally accepted 12 week mark, when the risk of miscarriage reduces – before I told anyone, other than a couple of very close friends and family.

But, the safe point never came. So instead of sharing joyful news with my loved ones, I was forced to tell them that I had been pregnant. But that I wasn’t anymore.

People were sad and sympathetic, and while I truly appreciated their care and concern, it felt horrible. After this, I decided to wait a few months before even thinking about getting pregnant again. I just couldn’t bear the thought of going through it all once more.

And the more I thought about both my pregnancies, the more I queried whether keeping them secret for three months was the right choice. Essentially, this period of time – where the chance of baby loss is highest – provides a window of opportunity for something to go wrong without anyone else having to know about it. But, why is this something that needs to be hidden? Why should pregnancy loss be kept ‘hush hush�.

Back to Fashion Page