Britain’s Oxford-educated billionaire Tory Prime Minister Rishi Sunak says his signature election policy has been misunderstood, explaining that he wants every British 18-year-old to contribute to the design and manufacture of bespoke headwear. “This is an uncertain world, and there are forces trying to divide our society. It is time to create a new version of the National Service whereby young men and women design exquisite hats for every occasion,” Sunak said this morning while standing in a tropical storm.
“The world is more uncertain now than at any time since the Cold War. At any moment, without notice, we could all be invited to a summer garden party or a society wedding, and I don’t need to tell you how stressful that is if you’re not ready to go with a great outfit. Under my plan we’ll be able to face that threat unflinchingly with quality hand-crafted, fashion-forward headpieces, on hand when we need them most”.
Under the scheme young Britons could either join a milliner full time for a year, a volunteer at weekends, ensuring that the country has over 700,000 milliners ready to start designing hats at a moment’s notice. “When that invitation for the races, or an engagement party comes, we will be ready at the drop of the hat, pun very much intended hahaha!” Sunak said..
