How Shelly's small act saved a friendship she thought she'd lost forever

Friendships are like a good pair of jeans – they should be comfortable, supportive, and make you feel great about yourself.But what happens when the teasing that once felt like friendly banter starts to feel like a pair of jeans that have shrunk in the wash, squeezing you in all the wrong places? Recently, I had to navigate this tricky territory myself, and it took some bravery to confront a friend who crossed the line. I wanted to stand up for myself without turning it into a drama worthy of a reality TV show.We've all been there: a friend makes a comment that stings a bit more than usual. It's easy to brush it off, laugh awkwardly, and move on.READ MORE: Harry deliberately destroyed potential evidence, lawyer claimsBut when these comments become a pattern, they can chip away at your self-esteem and make you question the foundation of your friendship.Your friend might think they're being funny, but repeated jabs can start to feel more like attacks.Imagine a friend saying, "Oh wow, did you try a new hairdresser? Bold choice!", "Those shoes are a hard no," or the pointed, "If you are serious about losing weight you should give up sugar for three years. Anything less and you're not serious!" Yep, I had a friend who crossed the line a few times with her "playful" mocking. Mainly judgy comments about my fashion choices, but then a clanger about my weight. For a daily dose of 9honey, subscribe to our newsletter here.At first, I let it slide, thinking I was being too sensitive. But the comments kept playing over and over in my mind, and they started to hurt more and more.Rather than passively let our friendship fade away, I decided to address them with her. It wasn't easy, but it was worth it.Speaking up is crucial for several reasons. Constant negative comments, even if they're masked as jokes or advice, can wear you down. By addressing them, you're standing up for yourself and preserving your self-esteem. Honest communication is the cornerstone of any strong relationship. Tackling your friend about how their comments make you feel can actually strengthen your bond. Everyone deserves to feel respected in their friendships. By setting clear boundaries, you're ensuring that both parties understand what is and isn't acceptable.READ MORE: Robbie almost ruined chances with wife of 14 yearsAddressing hurtful comments doesn't have to lead to a blowout fight. There are ways to handle it in a non-aggressive manner.Tapping into my time I spent speaking to psychologists over my lifetime, I knew using "I" statements would be the way to go. Instead of saying, "You're always so mean to me!" you could try, "I feel hurt when you make comments about my appearance. Can we talk about it?"Being direct but kind is also important. Instead of saying, "You need to stop being such a jerk!" you could say, "I know you might not mean to, but some of your jokes about my hair make me feel self-conscious."Focusing on your feelings helps keep the conversation constructive. Instead of saying, "You're always criticising me!" you could say, "I've noticed that some of your comments lately have made me feel bad about myself, and I wanted to share that with you."When I confronted my friend, it was nerve-wracking. I wasn't sure how she'd react.READ MORE: This hidden organiser is the best thing we've bought this monthNow, I'd like to say I was a warrior and spoke to her face to face but no, I did it over text. I find confrontation really hard with friends, so I gave myself a coward's free pass.I simply sent her a message and said, "I'm feeling really judged. Can you please lay off the comments about my appearance, because it's hurting my feelings." Not exactly groundbreaking, but after I pressed send I felt like I'd stood up for myself.But to my surprise, she was genuinely sorry. She admitted she hadn't realised how her comments were affecting me. She apologised and said she'd had a lot going on at work and was making comments without thinking.We had a heartfelt conversation about boundaries and respect, and now our friendship is stronger than ever. It took bravery to speak up, but it was worth it.READ MORE: Queen Camilla spotted giving King's backside a tapFriendships should lift us up, not drag us down. If you find yourself on the receiving end of hurtful comments masked as jokes, don't be afraid to address it. It's OK to set boundaries and stand up for yourself. You deserve to feel respected and valued in all your relationships. So, the next time a friend crosses the line, channel your inner TayTay and handle it with grace and confidence. Who knows, you might come out of it with an even stronger friendship and a newfound respect for each other.Remember, friends are like those perfect jeans – they should make you feel fabulous, not uncomfortable. And if they're not, it might be time to either make some adjustments or find a new pair.FOLLOW US ON WHATSAPP HERE: Stay across all the latest in celebrity, lifestyle and opinion via our WhatsApp channel. No comments, no algorithm and nobody can see your private details.