Around the world in 40 dates: The woman looking for romance on the road

The holiday romance! We've all been there, right? As someone who spends a huge chunk of my life travelling, I've enjoyed my fair share of flings with handsome men in foreign cities ... the Dutch tradie, the Norwegian engineer, the British builder, the German foreign correspondent, the New York banker, the Brooklyn hipster (dare I say ... the list goes on...).But while those fellas provided me with some wonderful memories and plenty of hilarious stories to share with the girls back home, none of them turned out to be my soul mate.So is dating while travelling ever a good idea? Or does it just leave you with a heartbreaking accumulation of what-ifs?READ MORE: A pocket WiFi square is the $5 purchase tourists swear by for a safe trip to JapanAussie-born artist Pepa Ivanoff recently embarked on an international dating blitz while travelling around the world solo. She spoke to me about the highs and lows of looking for romance on the road.Q. As a single woman, this sounds like the holiday of my dreams! Let's start with the stats. How many people did you date on this trip and where?I went on 40 dates with 24 men over a 6-month period in Portugal (Horta, Nazare & Lisbon), the UK (London & Castle Cary), and the USA (NY & LA). They were mostly first dates, but I also had a few second dates and I dated one guy three times.Q. Tell me about you.I'm a 43-year-old single, child-free, female artist. I was born and raised on the Gold Coast, but haven't lived in Australia since I left almost 20 years ago. I spent 8 years living in southern California and the past 12 years in Costa Rica in Central America.I travel almost full-time for work. I've painted 316 murals in 9 different countries.READ MORE: How a Facebook group is connecting travel-loving widows around the worldQ. What prompted this particular 'dating' holiday?I was commissioned to paint a mural in Faial Island in The Azores, so I spent two months working there and then four months travelling around mainland Portugal, the UK, New York and LA.I live in a very small, remote beach town, so dating isn't really an option when I'm at home. I date occasionally when I travel but it's never been a priority. I decided to prioritise dating on this trip because I was in a completely different part of the world with a much larger dating pool. It was also a great way to explore the cities, as I was travelling alone.Q. What was your motivation for dating on this trip? Were you looking for casual hookups, local tour guides or were you hoping to cross paths with your soulmate?I'm open to meeting a future partner but it's never the expectation, particularly due to my nomadic lifestyle. I'm happy and comfortable travelling by myself but it's also nice to share experiences, so dating was a great way to meet people and experience each place "like a local', which is the way I like to travel. I also just enjoy meeting authentic people who are living unique and interesting lives.READ MORE: Behold: The best sandwich you've never heard ofQ. How did you meet the men?I used Bumble, as my research suggested it would be the best app for dating, rather than just hooking up. I also tried Raya, but it seems to be more of a networking app than a dating app. I didn't actually go on any dates from Raya as I kept matching with men who were nowhere near my geographic location.Q. What did you say in your profile? Did you say you were just passing through?I included recent photos of myself, my work and my hobbies and I explained that I was visiting each place for 'X' amount of time.I always want my profile to be the most authentic representation of who I am. I'm honest, I communicate clearly and I expect the same from potential dates.Q. Did you feel safe meeting all these strangers in foreign countries? How did you protect yourself?I'm a woman who lives, works and travels alone, so I'm always conscious of my safety and I have a strong intuition. I always spend time messaging, asking questions and talking to potential dates before meeting them in person.I only met in public places for the first dates, and I always shared my location on my phone with a friend.Q. Did you have a standard first date?I went on coffee, breakfast, lunch, dinner and dessert dates. I wandered museums, art galleries and markets, I met artists and photographers in their studios and I met one guy in a record store.A couple of guys drove me around in their vintage convertibles. I also went to a Broadway show and Diwali in a Hindu Temple.I went on a couple of really fabulous dates in private clubs - one at Home House in London and one at Babington House in Somerset. Those dates were really impressive, because they were beautiful locations and I loved the history, architecture and interior design.READ MORE: Virgin Australia launches huge international flight saleQ. Based on your field research, which city was best for dating?The men were all different in their own way, regardless of nationality, but London was my dating highlight by far! I went on so many enjoyable dates there with men who behaved like gentlemen. The men in London seemed to understand the concept of an actual 'date'. It was something they actually planned. They chose a location, helped me with tube directions, met me at the station and they paid for everything. I guess it just felt more chivalrous and traditional, compared to my experiences elsewhere.Perhaps my English heritage and being Australian also had something to do with feeling this way. Or perhaps it's because I've lived in North and Central America for the past 20 years, so dating English men was equal parts familiar and different.Q. OK, which city was the worst?Los Angeles. I only went on a handful of dates there but all the men were arrogant and entitled, and the lying (mostly about height and age) was very off-putting.One guy tried to get handsy after a very mediocre lunch, where he spent the entire time talking about himself. In general, there seemed to be a lack of effort or planning, which was very different to my experience in London.Q. Was there a favourite date?I've actually become BFFs with a guy I dated in London. Our first 'date' lasted 6 hours and we didn't shut up or stop laughing the whole time. He's a photographer and very creative, so we had loads to talk about. We liked all the same things and he was always up to go on fun adventures with me around London. We got along famously but we had zero chemistry. I'm not sure if that's technically considered 'dating', but meeting him was a highlight of my trip and we still chat all the time.Q. Worst date?There were a few. I have zero tolerance for misrepresenting the truth. I unfortunately found out mid-date that some men were not being honest about significant things like marriage and children.This was despite me specifically asking about these things before we met. Others lied about trivial things, like height, which just seems so ridiculous to me. Leading with a lie like that just makes me question what else they're hiding. I don't appreciate having my time wasted by insecure people who can't be upfront about who they are.Q. So you didn't fall in love?I didn't fall in love, but I had a great time, met some very interesting men (and some not-so-great), went to some fab places and had so many amazing experiences.Q. With your wealth of experience in dating all over the world, what's your take on online dating?Overall, online dating is filled with misrepresentations of the truth, regardless of where you are. It feels like work, because you have to invest so much time into crafting your own profile to accurately represent yourself, then read through hundreds of profiles, message back and forth with your matches and then talk to them before you meet.And even after all of that, you can still meet someone who hasn't been honest, or someone you have no chemistry with, or someone who just isn't your type 'in person', even after you had good messaging rapport. It's a process, and it's exhausting! In the end, I decided the effort just wasn't worth it for me. I have other things I'd rather prioritise in my life.Q. Where are you at now, with the dating process?After my last five dates with four different men in LA, I decided to call it quits for a while.Dating in LA was not fun and by the time I got there, I'd been travelling and living out of a suitcase for six months so I guess I was already pretty travel-weary. I only went on a handful of dates in LA, but they were all bad enough to make me want to take a break.Thanks for sharing your story Pepa. Now excuse me while I go and Google flights to London.You can follow Sami on Instagram @samilukisYou can follow Pepa on Instagram @pepallamaAnd watch a short doco about Pepa's creative life here.