Why France doesn't count as a foreign holiday, by a 14-year-old whose parents dragged her there last week 3rd June 2024 HAVING just returned from France, which is shit, Grace Wood-Morris can state definitively that it does not count as a proper holiday abroad. She explains: It’s too close Real holidays require a flight, not three days in the back of a Kia Sportage without wifi. And a ferry in the middle which is humiliating only to end up in the same boring woody green countryside we have in Nottingham and the same pissing rainstorms.
Apparently it’s nice weather in the south of France but we didn’t f**king go there, did we? There’s nothing to do Imagine England but flatter, duller and full of fashions from literally two decades ago. The kind of sweatshirts and jeans that you see on footage of 9-11 being unashamedly worn. The teenagers here can only be pitied.
There were two of them hanging around a pizza place like it was a nightclub. And to be fair it is the only thing open after 8pm. The music’s shit Omigod, French radio.
Who told them they could do pop music. Song after song that’s so wrong, as if every X-Factor reject was exiled here forever. A dance version of The Sound of Silence gave me trauma.
Sometimes they play a proper song just to reinforce how bad theirs are. They played a lot of Dua Lipa. If the French think she’s good she’s over.
Nobody speaks English In real holiday locations, all-inclusive ones, everyone speaks a real language. They don’t m.