For many people, the act of forgiveness is not an option. This may be due to a belief that repeated wrongdoing by others has ended any trust that a relationship with those hurtful people can exist. Consider the possible reasons for their deep mistrust: A harshly critical parent, a nasty neighbour, a previously close friend who’s told others of your deepest feelings.
These are just some of the cruel slights and revelations that can cause someone to shut down any chance of further slings and arrows aimed at their very existence. Yet, forgiveness can become the solution to such deeply emotional pain and anger. And it can also provide the soothing comfort of healthy response.
Of course, you might think an angry/hurt person can simply walk away from people who are nasty and mean-spirited. Or they can take the steps forward that lead to a better solution. The salve of forgiveness is a healing behaviour, and it can ultimately soothe both the mind and the heart.
I’m reminded of the remarkable book written by Fern Schumer Chapman, about her long-painful distance from her brother Scott Schumer, bearing its poignant title, “Brothers, Sisters, Strangers.” The two had each lived in homes just walking distance apart, but for reasons never discussed together, they remained silent and distant over many years. Until finally their mother begged her daughter to break down the wall between her adult children.
And that’s what the two siblings finally did. While that’s only one example.