Consumerism is excellent at one thing—getting us to focus on satisfying our preferences. Much of what is passed off as self-help advice is nothing more than lifestyle design. We feel we can craft a picture-perfect, satisfying life by choosing among the options that please us best.
This stands in stark contrast to the way life was lived for most of history and continues to be lived by many people today. In those older traditions, choices were fewer and farther between. You may have inherited a job, had a spouse chosen for you, or lived close to the place you were born.
Personally, I’m not keen on reviving every aspect of this way of life. I really do think choice is good, and with the right balance, I’m appreciative that I can choose a job, wife, and hobbies that are a good fit for my personality. What I’m concerned about is a mindset obsessed with preference.
Too much of a good thing can crowd out other good things, and I’m afraid, at least in my own life, that has happened. The more you get exactly what you want, the more frustrated you will be with the parts of your life that will not or cannot bend to your preferences. The more time you spend doing what you want, the less interested you will become in what others may prefer.
The more predictable your satisfaction becomes, the less adventure and spontaneity you’ll allow into your life—preferring what is safe and easy. Not have a preference between work or leisure. Let go of the rigid distinction between work a.