Dear Amy: Forty-two years ago, my uncle died by suicide. I was very young at the time, and for years was told that he died in a car crash. It was only by accident that I discovered that he had taken his own life.
He had a troubled life. It seems he never really felt at home in the world. When he was a teenager, the father with whom he already had a difficult relationship died in tragic circumstances.
My grandmother (his mother) died about 10 years ago. We found his personal items among her belongings. My question is: What does somebody do with these personal effects? Surely, there should be some way of memorializing his short life? It seems dreadful to simply throw these items in the trash.
Is there some way of saying that this person existed and that their life mattered? — Niece in Oregon Dear Niece: This is an intriguing and poignant question. I suggest that if it is possible you might try to sketch an oral history from any family members who might remember more of the fullness of your uncle's life. You might then be able to prepare a narrative (with photos of some of these objects), and consider posting it as an online memorial.
Allianceofhope.org is an online site for survivors of suicide loss. Their "memorial wall," which features photos of people who have died by suicide, is deeply moving.
Dear Readers: The following was first published in 2021. Dear Amy: My husband and I have been married for 40 years. We have two daughters in their 30s.
I happily was a stay-at-home .