Starmer's change bears uncanny resemblance to old-school Conservatism 24th May 2024 THE promised ‘change’ that Keir Starmer keeps going on about is remarkably similar to old-fashioned Conservative values, people have noticed. Voters digging into Labour’s ambiguous ‘change’ manifesto have been left confused as it seems to bear more than a passing resemblance to what the Conservative party stood for just a few decades ago. Tom Booker from Stoke-on-Trent said: “Even if you squint you can’t tell the difference between Starmer’s Labour and pre-2010 Conservatism.

It’s even being sold with the same bullshit slogans. “There are lots of modest pledges that won’t amount to any real change, a continuation of the two-child benefit cap, and no intention to abolish tuition fees. I guess he’s trying to give the people what he thinks they want? Which appears to be a slightly-less-shit version of David Cameron.

Great.” Emma Bradford from Keynsham said: “Starmer’s change is like the stunt double of old Tory policies. Film it from the right angle and the two blend together seamlessly.

“Maybe it’s all part of a masterplan to get the public on side, then when he’s in power he’ll unleash his radical leftist schemes like free wi-fi and denuclearisation. Either that or he’s really just a centre-right suit who sadly looks progressive in the shitshow of modern politics.” Starmer said: “I really am just a centre-right suit who sadly looks progressive in the s.