Last week, I wrote about my troubles transferring important data from my former iPhone to a new iPhone. Pet photos, OK, I’ll be honest, the important data is 96 per cent pet photos. I was tight for space in that column and had to cut a part.

Not to get too far off topic, but this column is supposed to be 600 words and for 18 years I thought it was 700. So, suddenly I feel like I got a raise. I only have to write 600 words for the price of 700.

It’s like I’m finally benefitting from “shrinkflation.” If this column started as “a pound” of bacon, it’s now 375 grams. I’m sorry you’re getting fewer words for your money, but let’s look at this as a win-win.

One hundred fewer words from me is a good thing. I promise to be a ninja and a surgeon with my edits, and I will not — won’t — use two words when one will do. Brevity is the soul of wit — Shakespeare said that.

It’s part of a longer quote, but we don’t have space. If the Gettysburg Address was 272 words, I can say my weekly piece in 600. I’m not off to a great start here, so let’s get to it.

When I wrote about my iPhone setup struggles, I cut the part about the sweaty stress I wanted to avoid when using an app while going through the drive through at Dairy Queen. It could be Tim Hortons or McDonald’s or wherever, but you need the app to get your points or to cash in your points for free food. My body shape betrays me when I say I really don’t drive through for fast food often, so I have .