Two of my three adult children rent houses on my two small properties. I have no pension, so my rentals are my pension plan. My kids constantly demand more from me and block me access to my properties, even though initially I told them I would keep one bedroom in each house for storage and occasional sleepovers.
My 29-year-old son calls me a “monster” for staying overnight in my city bedroom, and my son-in-law threatened to sign divorce papers (from my daughter) if I ever knock on his door again. The back story is that my daughter asked me to come check her out because she was coughing, couldn’t breathe and was afraid she might die. She never told her husband she asked me to come over, so he thought I showed up just to ‘check up’ on them.
My ex blamed me for all of his failings, and I feel my kids are doing the same. They get really, really angry whenever I try to discuss things with them. According to them, I apparently have everything while their dad is ‘struggling’ as the owner of a boutique private seniors home so can’t be expected to help them out at all.
Can you give me some words to help me set boundaries? I need help communicating to them that, in exchange for cheap rent, I get to stay in my bedroom once or twice a week. And I can knock on their door without being accused of destroying their marriage. I think you’re mixing everything up too closely.
There are too many strings attached here. Your son and son-in-law don’t sound very friendly. However.