W e’re in the haematology department at the hospital and they call my mum in. We go inside, sit down and the doctor tells us the results of the test: she has myeloma – blood cancer – but will need a bone marrow test to confirm it. I nearly faint, my heart sinks and I can see my mum’s face filled with sadness.
Everything we hear after that is a blur but I know from that point things will be tough and that I am about to become a carer. I’d always thought my parents were fit and healthy and would be fine. Even though they are in their 70s, just last year they were going into schools and teaching children to skip and hula hoop , so the diagnosis last summer came out of the blue.
It has been a tough first year. Across the Asian and Indian community caring is seen as a given and we as daughters do it because we don’t want to put our parents in a care home and they wouldn’t want this. But I have had to give up a lot so I can look after my mum.
While I’ve learned the skills to look after her properly I’ve had to turn down paid work which has meant a huge hit to my finances. I’ve always lived with my parents and helped them to run the house and manage the bills. I don’t pay rent but I have covered the bills.
A few years ago I changed career to become a journalist (I worked in marketing before) and I was working hard to break through. I had just £2,000 in savings when I started. Now as a freelancer, because of the time I devote to my mum, I hardly earn anything.
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