This First Person column is the experience of Whitney Swinimer , who lives in Halifax. For more information about CBC's First Person stories, please see the FAQ . I've been fat since I was eight.
For most of my life, I hated my body. During my teen and young adult years, my weight was a thing to be ashamed of. It led to bullying at school, tearful experiences in fitting rooms and fad diets I would do with my mom that never worked anyway.
I was angry that no matter what I did, I was still fat. Interview In The F Word, 'fat' is not an insult Fat, tattooed & on the trail: Meet the woman changing what it means to be a hiker Regina 'fat activist' hopes to change social attitudes around weight That was never more obvious than when I tried to buy clothes. All of my straight-sized friends (who wore clothes sizes zero to 14) would go to the mall and come out with cute outfits from multiple stores while I was limited to overpriced, tent-like clothes that made me look like I was decades older than I actually was.
The rise of online shopping has improved things a bit, but the double-edged sword of buying online means that I can't try anything on until after I've spent my money. I have to trust the inconsistent sizing guides on websites, and sometimes those clothes aren't returnable. It wasn't until I started knitting in 2015 that I realized I could avoid those tearful fitting room visits or expensive non-refundable purchases.
I could make clothes to fit my body instead of changing my bod.