Earlier this week, columnist Genevieve Novak wrote of her decision not to reproduce. “Until I wake up absolutely sure that I can’t live another day without that imaginary baby,” she declared, “I think I’ll stay on this path: selfish and fine with it.” Well, sorry, Genevieve, but you’re making a mistake.
And I’m a mother, so I can say this with authority: you’re not making a mistake choosing to remain childless; there are moments (sometimes days) when that sounds glorious to me. The choice to have your own child is always self-serving. Credit: You are mistaken for calling yourself selfish because it is not at all selfish not to have a baby.
If anything, it is selfish to have one. I’ve had three babies and none were born of an act of altruism. Every time I had a child I did so for me.
I had my first baby because I really wanted a child. I had my second baby because the first was adorable and I wanted another. I had a third baby because I felt my family was incomplete.
After she was born I was done. How was all of this procreation selfless? I certainly didn’t do it for the welfare of my unborn babies. They weren’t sitting plaintively in limbo, waiting anxiously to be conceived.
I know this to be true because they remind me all the time: “I didn’t ask to be born, Mum! It was your choice to have kids!” So whose interests was I serving when I decided to reproduce? I didn’t do it for the planet; we’re overcrowded already. The Earth doesn’t need an.