When 19-year-old Jade Costa first logged into a chat room pretending to be a gay Japanese man named Toshie, little did she know she would end up finding her future husband. Fresh from a painful breakup, Jade, now 37, wasn’t seeking romance but rather solace from loneliness after moving back home. Using Gaia Online, a fantasy-based chat room where users explore virtual worlds with avatars, Jade hoped to find some like-minded friends instead of romantic partners so she decided to catfish as a gay man to avoid any unwanted attention.
“I wasn’t looking for anything at all,” she said. “It was 2004. Back then there weren’t many people as open about their sexuality.
I thought I wouldn’t attract as many people romantically and potentially hurt someone if I posed as a gay man. “I also wanted to protect myself so I went on an American site - I thought no one would be able to track me down that way.” “I would go onto the website and I made quite a few friends.
We would meet there and just chat, there was quite a big group of us.” Among her group of friends was Luke Costa, a quiet man who she bonded with over anime and gaming . For almost a year, Jade disguised as Toshie, would seek Luke out to chat, with the two often coming online at the same time and bumping into each other virtually time and time again.
“He was always someone I enjoyed talking to,” said Jade. “I would almost follow him around. He was quite quiet and I’m quite loud so I quite enjoyed tryi.