After I came out as a trans man in September 2021, a select few of my old women’s clothes managed to survive the charity shop purge. There’s the sequined denim jacket. An old jumper with bright pink details.
Jewellery gifted by family – a mini abstract art pendant handmade by my aunt, a chain of pink and green gemstones. These weren’t items I’d forced myself to buy, or kept just for feminine appearances. I found real joy in owning them.
Contrary to the ‘female-to-male’ trans stereotype of saying a hard-no to any dress, I even kept the wedding dress I wore in 2019 – even though it’s probably tight and baggy in all the wrong places now. While culling my other femme clothes – the bodycon dresses I don’t miss, the handkerchief skirt with ragged ends I wish I’d kept – part of me knew I might be back for them someday. I’ve even kept some French knickers because they’re pretty, and wearing them makes me feel the same way.
It’s only recently I’ve been experimenting with wearing some of these pieces again. It coincided with coming back to identifying as non-binary , stepping away from my former trans man label. And changing your mind on your self-expression is okay – if it’s right for you.
I initially came out as non-binary in April 2021 at the age of 29. Around the same time, I started wearing a binder . Acknowledging my chest dysphoria, and taking steps to ease it, were part of the early stages of realising my identity.
It still took months more.