Dear Amy: Two years ago, my friend "Kim" admitted that she had cut alcohol out of her life after her brother died due to his alcoholism. I thought this was great; we have enjoyed doing things together without alcohol. A couple of times I suspected she had been drinking.
Last summer I took my suspicions to her sister-in-law, "Bea," who is also a friend. Bea confided that Kim is in group therapy for drinking, but that she went on a bender and got her second DUI. I was asked to keep this confidential, and so I decided to act oblivious around Kim.
This month, Kim's lies got bigger. When she did not return any of my text messages I again reached out to Bea. I was told that Kim had to spend 30 days in jail for her drinking episode.
Kim texted me within hours of being released, saying she had to care for her ailing dad out of town. Because I was asked to keep this information confidential, I again chose to go along with Kim's lies. Now she has informed me that she needs a ride each time we are together.
Kim has obviously lost her driver's license but made up a lame reason for needing rides. I completely understand why she would not want people to know, but I am caught in the crosshairs of her lies. She is a beautiful person with an ugly disease, and it has to be a heavy burden to be hiding behind all those lies on top of trying to stay sober.
I want to let Kim know that she has no need to lie to me anymore. She will not lose my friendship, and more importantly I would be happy to he.