As with many things, learning how to argue properly with someone you love is a skill you can develop. There is a right way and a wrong way to do it. Many couples struggle with learning to fight fairly.
Here are some ground rules: The first one to get mad loses. You really can’t resolve anything when you are angry. So if you’ve gotten your knickers in a twist, give yourself some time to calm down before you tell your loving mate what they did to bug you (this time).
Getting mad at someone and venting at them only serves to push the real feelings down and to make the other person detach. Never yell. Yelling is a form of abuse, pure and simple.
If your mate cowers internally every time you raise your voice, you are using it to control them. This isn’t fair or kind, and it will tear your relationship apart. Keeping your emotions contained may be very hard when you are upset, but you need to understand that when you yell at someone, you are verbally beating them up.
Never try to intimidate your mate — and intimidation is something you can do without saying a word, too. Avoid threatening the relationship. Saying you want to break up — when what you really want is to get your own way — could leave you sleeping alone at night.
Every issue in the relationship can’t be a relationship breaker. In a committed connection, it’s OK to disagree with your partner. The key is to see your disagreements as differences, many of which can be resolved.
Try saying to your partner “.