Adoption is often portrayed as a beautiful, loving act. It enables people to become parents to a child who is given a second chance at being part of a loving family. And a birth mother is relieved of a burden she was either unprepared for, or unable to carry.

Mother and child are later reunited, and joy ensues, happy endings all round. A nice story, right? Yes it is, and one can see why telecommunications giant One NZ chose to capitalise on the redemptive power of these adoption tropes with its "Let's Get Connected" advertising campaign. After all, closed adoption represents the epitome of disconnection for adopted people and their birth families.

Under the current law, birth identity and relationships are legally erased while new adoptive identities and relationships are created. So far, we have only seen one "episode" in what is clearly an ongoing story in the campaign. But for a number of us who have experienced adoption directly, this first episode all too easily glosses over the pain and loss at the heart of adoption.

Fantasy and reality Until the Adult Adoption Information Act was passed in 1985, many adopted people in Aotearoa New Zealand were raised with little or no information regarding their birth origins. They had to wait until age 20 to access their original birth certificate. So, for adopted people, the promise of connection is particularly poignant – as the.

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