DEAR ABBY: When my husband, “Wayne,” and I were dating 15 years ago, he would occasionally get angry and stalk off or bust a bag of chips, but after I gave him time alone, he’d be back like nothing happened. He always said that episodes such as this were something he was “working on.” After we had children, the incidents continued occasionally.
I thought it was because he worked hard, so as a stay-at-home-mom, I just gulped, gave him his space, and he would eventually get back to normal. I continued walking on eggshells and tried diligently to not make him angry again. Embarrassingly, my son’s preschool teacher asked one time if everything was OK because my son mentioned that his daddy yelled at his mommy a lot.
Wayne lost his job six months ago and has chosen not to work since then. He doesn’t want to work for “the man” anymore, and his angry outbursts have increased. He has destroyed multiple items in our home (the trash can, our cooktop and a colander) in his anger.
Our kids are older now and witness these events, and I can no longer continue to live in this environment. He’s setting a terrible example and I hate hiding out in the bedroom. I recently got a job to help with family finances, but I’m not sure I can focus with all this going on at home.
I’ve suggested marriage counselling multiple times, but he ignores me. What do you suggest I do? — CAN’T TAKE IT IN CALIFORNIA DEAR CAN’T TAKE IT: I am so glad you have a job. Now it’s time to st.