It started when I felt a lump in December of 2022. I didn’t think much about it until it started to feel like everything I saw was related to breast cancer: It seemed like the universe was telling me I needed to get it checked out. Before I went in, I tried to really mentally prepare myself.
I thought, What’s the worst that’s going to happen? You’re going to go through , you’re going to lose your hair. So I was already prepared for hearing the word . Once I was diagnosed, I tried to be realistic and stay grounded: I try to keep that mindset as much as possible—it’s what keeps me calm and helps me get through this entire process.
When it comes to dating, I don’t see myself as changed by my breast cancer diagnosis. But it can definitely be challenging. You have to talk about chemo; doctor’s appointments; why your pictures look a little different than they did before, for example, if your hair length changed.
So at the beginning, I had a lot of issues to navigate: How much should I share? When do I have that conversation? Now? Or do I wait until I get really close with somebody? And over the years, I’ve had people who I’ve met and loved and embraced, and other experiences that were hard or just plain awkward. It can be heavy and a lot to deal with. For example, I went on a date where I shared my diagnosis at a restaurant, and I could see him start to squirm; he was getting uneasy.
I remember asking, “Is everything okay?” And he said, “Yeah, yeah, I ju.