Countryside noisy as f**k 22nd May 2024 A COUPLE wanting a peaceful day out away from the noise and hurly-burly of city life have found the countryside to be a clamorous nightmare. Nikki and Stephen Hollis took a trip to an Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty expecting peace and serenity, but instead were faced with an absolute f**king racket. Nikki Hollis said: “We stepped out of the car thinking we’d take a tranquil stroll, but the first field we came to was full of bellowing cows, and the second had a loudly rumbling tractor ploughing a field, followed by a flock of shrieking seagulls.
“We walked on past a farmyard with several dogs, who all started barking as we approached, which set off a pair of cockerels, and then a man starting shouting at us to ‘piss off out of it’ from inside the house. “Then we were followed down a lane by local lads booming out techno from a speaker on a screaming quad bike, before we ended up stumbling up the embankment of a busy motorway while electricity pylons buzzed overhead at a pitch that gave us both cracking headaches. “So all in all, the countryside is a noisy, unwelcoming, terrifying nightmare.
Give me a crime-filled urban backstreet any day. Much calmer and safer.” Couple join '25 metre-down club' by having sex on tube 22nd May 2024 TWO young people who engaged in sexual activity on the London Underground have joined the illustrious ranks of the ’25 metre-down club’.
Lauren Hewitt and Jack Browne used the opportunity.