Four women tell Sinead Corcoran Dye the truth about hanging on to love when it seems the spark has died ‘There’s so much more to intimacy than sex’ Sarah, 34, midwife At the beginning of the year, I got really sick so my husband and I moved into separate beds so we could both get a good night’s sleep away from snoring and sweating and night fevers. We just needed space to spread out and get a night of real rest. That was four months ago and we’re still in separate beds.
We slept in the same bed again a few weeks ago and neither of us got much sleep so it works so much better for us for now in so many ways. We definitely don’t plan on it being a forever thing – but it hasn’t had any damaging effect on our relationship. There’s so much more to intimacy than sex .
That’s what makes a stable loving relationship. We try to focus on acts of service for each other - speaking each other’s love language. So it might be a massage, it’s definitely consistent communication even when we’re exhausted, it’s touch - lots of hugs and kisses, it’s checking in with each other during the day and debriefing anything that’s needed.
We send each other squillions of reels and watch each other laugh. Sometimes it’s just lying together, spending quality time together. Other times, it’s getting out of the house for a walk or coffee together.
We also do at-home date nights (usually a movie and snacks) and actual going-out date nights. We’ve been together almost 11 y.