Trite takes on in your 20s aren’t hard to come by. From advice that’s really just 50 ways of saying “put yourself out there” to platitudes about the number of fish in the sea, you’ve probably already heard the greatest hits. Much of that advice—paired with the “designed to be deleted” and “find your person” slogans on dating apps—frames dating as something to get through for one purpose: securing a long-term, monogamous partnership.
Ideally, one sanctified by a ceremony that costs as much as a college degree. The truth, though, is that there are just as many ways and reasons to date as there are . Are your 20s a good time to find the people you’ll connect and grow with the most? Absolutely.
But romantic partners are just one version of that. As you move through your 20s, know that there are outcomes that matter a whole lot more than any partnership status does. This includes whether dating has helped you deepen your understanding of yourself and learn new ways to show care in all of your relationships.
Has it helped you discover what mettle you’re made of after and, just as importantly, have you been able to have some fun along the way? So, we asked 20 twentysomethings—some , others currently partnered—to share their honest insights on those aspects of dating. They told us about the highs and lows of dating in their 20s, the lessons they’ve learned, and what they would tell their teenage selves to expect, to watch out for, and to get excited ab.