If you have a vulva, want to feel like an absolute boss, and , then the cowgirl sex position has officially entered the chat. When you’re on top in cowgirl, you get to control the speed, the depth, the angle and the motion—making it one of your during penetrative sex. And if you’re on the bottom, your job is pretty much and enjoy the view.
Win-win for everyone! If you’re up there in the saddle and , fear not—that’s totally normal, says , a licensed marriage and family therapist who specializes in sex therapy and addiction. “The important thing to keep in mind is that there's no ‘right way’ to do it,” says Farina. That means you get to experiment! Cowgirl lets you use your body to fire up and move in whatever way feels good to you and your partner, says ob-gyn , a sex and relationship coach.
The basics: Straddle your partner, lower yourself carefully onto their penis or strap-on, then angle yourself for optimum friction. You can grind, thrust, or (pro tip) spell the word . Move at whatever pace feels right in the moment, just don’t go too crazy with vigorous up and down thrusting.
“Cowgirl is one of the positions most likely to lead to a ,” says certified sex and relationships coach and clinical sexologist . (Which, hard pass.) If you are one of the many vulva-owners who struggles to have an orgasm with penetrative sex alone ( ), it’s easy to add the you crave.
Use your hand, a toy, or even better, have your partner take care of you—you’re busy .