E ngland has a proud tradition of rousing football anthems – and a rather less proud history of coming up with some absolutely nightmarish novelty tracks . Not every song released to mark an international tournament can be a euphoric banger like New Order’s “World In Motion” or a singalong classic like “Three Lions”. And for every vaguely credible effort, you’ll find several naff cover versions stuffed with slapdash references to Eng-er-land, or songs that are so awful, they’re more likely to fill the squad with a deep existential sadness rather than spur them on to glory.
As Euro 2024 kicks off in Germany, these are some tracks that you might want to avoid if you’re making a pre-match playlist...
“It’s England Time” by Chico (2010) In the summer of 2010, Chico Slimani had a premonition of a glorious victory. The X Factor runner-up had a vision in which Fabio Capello’s England squad won the Jules Rimet trophy – and then, in a yet more fanciful twist, the commentators namechecked his 2006 novelty single “It’s Chico Time”. Spurred on to make that prophecy a reality, he got to work recording a new, football themed version of his song, then waited outside the BBC Radio One studio to ambush breakfast host Chris Moyles with the CD.
The track was creatively titled “It’s England Time”, and the mildly disconcerting lyrics saw Chico break out his rhyming dictionary to describe the squad as “erotic, exotic, hypnotic”, before imploring: “Pass.