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A reader decided to give casual dating a go on Hinge, but she says the more she enjoys herself, the more she feels as though she’s doing something wrong. Annabel Rivkin and Emilie McMeekan give their advice. My ex-husband and I divorced three years ago after 15 years of marriage .

The children split their time between us and it’s not as awful as I thought it would be. Last year I thought I’d try dating app Hinge — not because I am particularly looking for a life partner, but because, having married at 24, I wanted to give casual dating a go. I’ve had so much fun and, to be honest, more and better sex than ever before — with a few different men.



But the more fun I have, the more I seem to be involuntarily asking myself “Is this okay?”, which makes me feel weird and as though I’m doing something wrong. Am I? – Unsure Dear Unsure, We have all been brought up with such a powerful narrative around the many ways that we, as women, should feel ashamed of ourselves that we are not at all surprised you are doubting your decisions. Saddened, but not surprised.

Indeed, this corrosive, patriarchal narrative ( Harrison Butker would, presumably, approve ) is so noisy that, if there ever happens to be a void — a moment when no one else is shaming us, judging us, telling us we are used goods, over the hill, that we are cheapening ourselves and that no one will ever want us if we persist; telling us that we are a terrible example to the children we do not deserve to have.

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