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Once a quarter, Bich Le, 52, moves into her father’s guest room for three weeks. The healthcare executive is one of five siblings who take turns caring for their widowed 90-year-old father, who has lung cancer and requires constant assistance. While she’s away from home, she will miss her daughter’s high school formal.

The drugs Le’s father takes to manage pain can “negatively impact how he treats people,” she says. When he becomes volatile, Le says, she mostly tries to ignore it and “not add to the stress of the situation”. She tells herself to “just care for him and just let it go”.



But sometimes, when she’s exhausted, his temper grates. Caregiving isn’t easy, regardless of how much you love the person you’re caring for. Credit: iStock “What runs through my brain is: ‘a simple thank you would really go a long way,’” she says.

“‘You have me, or you have a nursing home.’” Caregiving can be fraught. And factors like financial strain and isolation can add to psychological distress.

In a 2017 survey of 1081 caregivers conducted by the American Association of Retired Persons, 51 per cent of respondents reported feeling worried or stressed. But there was a surprising upside: The majority – 91 per cent – also reported feeling pleased that they were able to help. How can caregivers hold on to that feeling amid the stress, fatigue and resentment that also come with the role? There are strategies for feeling “less burdened or stressed by.

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