Three Kiwi women tell Sinead Corcoran Dye what it’s really like getting back out there after a marriage ends . ‘It’s a grieving process, but don’t lose hope. And go to therapy’ Polly*, 40, brand manager I met my husband at university when I was 19 and he was 18.
We were together for 14 years and married for three before we separated. What began as a “young, wild and free” loving relationship over the years turned toxic , unbalanced and sad. When our first child was eight months old and I was battling post-partum depression and anxiety, he began an affair with a young, blonde colleague.
I found out about it when I was 11 weeks pregnant with our second, two weeks before the first big Covid lockdown in March 2020. I tried to go on my first date after the split the following year, when my youngest was 4 months old. I had decided to take the plunge as my mum was in town – and ended up getting stood up, and never heard from him again.
Nice. After that I downloaded a few dating apps and tried to get my head around what the new dating world looked like since I was last single. I’ve used Hinge, Tinder, Bumble and Feeld – and while I’ve always considered myself educated in the intimacy world, wow.
It’s a mammoth learning curve getting my head around all the acronyms and how to write a profile – let alone wading through all the fish pics, and “don’t want drama” bios. (spoiler alert, those people are always the drama.) I’ve since been on a handful of dat.
