'Ultimate gift': One incredible offer made Alex and Raymond's dream of being fathers a reality

The journey to having a baby is an emotional rollercoaster for any hopeful parent, but for Alex Needs and Raymond Palmer, they also knew it was going to be a long and tricky journey as well.The couple tied the knot in 2019 and shortly after started discussing options for growing their family and what it was going to cost.Needs, 45, tells 9Honey they'd "always dreamed of being fathers", but for a gay couple in Australia there are only two options available: adoption or surrogacy, and both are difficult and expensive.Until one day, Needs' sister-in-law* gave them an offer that was too good to refuse.READ MORE: 'I can still hear her': The moment a stranger saved Davina Smith's life"We were away on a holiday with our family, and my sister and her wife spoke to us and said that they had had two children of their own and they'd finished their family and they would like to offer to become a surrogate for us."He admits they were left speechless."It is literally the ultimate gift," Needs says."It is nothing short of incredible, and you can never actually repay something like this and I think that's something that we've both had to come to terms with because it is just so incredibly profound."Needs says the idea came from their sister-in-law wanting her daughters to have "a little cousin to grow up with", as well as being able to help them start the family they'd been craving for so long.The offer changed everything. Now they had a surrogate, Palmer would be the sperm donor and they could begin their search for an egg donor.But Needs says there were also a lot of hoops to jump through before they could start to get excited."Surrogacy in NSW must be altruistic, meaning that the birth mother cannot be paid to carry a child, although her medical and pregnancy-related expenses can be covered," he says."It's all incredibly tightly regulated and controlled [and] we had to undergo specific counselling for the egg donation, as well as separate counselling for the surrogacy process.""It is nothing short of incredible, and you can never actually repay something like this."However, once they ticked every box, the process of falling pregnant was not an easy one."It was a two-and-a-half year journey of seven rounds of IVF to get to the final pregnancy."The pair say the difficult journey was made somewhat easier by the fact it was shared between the four of them."We've all been on this [journey] together and it's been incredibly special. We always said that we would do this as the four of us, like a little team."Needs admits that like any parents trying to conceive, their little team has been through a lot of ups and downs."The first round of eggs that came through failed, so we needed to go back and find a second donor," he says."So that was the first low, and it's not easy for people doing surrogacy in Australia in that you don't get any IVF rebates as two guys, and you can't draw down on your super."The other thing with IVF is that every time you get that phone call saying, 'Sorry it's a negative' it's heartbreaking, and you have to take a deep breath and wait a few months just because everybody needs some space to figure it all out."He also says it's been an eye-opening experience to see just what women have to put their bodies through to have a baby."As two guys we just did not have the insight, and just seeing what so many women go through, no matter what their family makeup, was just incredibly powerful and you just have so much empathy for people who are all trying to get to that same result, which is having a little baby."But when they were down to their final embryo and their final chance of having a baby, the call came through they'd been long been hoping for."It's probably the most amazing call you'll ever receive, especially given it was the last egg. We were all more prepared for the negative."Palmer says it's all thanks to the incredible team of doctors, nurses, counsellors and most of all the generosity of his sister-in-law, who "has been just incredible through this entire process" and allowing them to be there every step of the way at appointments, scans, hospital visits and even "regular check-ins, photos and Zooms".Nine months later the pair were able to join her and her wife for the birth of their daughter, Grace, and both admit everything changed for them in that moment."It's almost like time stops," Palmer says, "and it's kind of surreal, but you have to stop, take a deep breath and be like, 'Oh wow, she's here now, she's healthy and she's happy' and you start a whole new chapter in the space of a very short amount of time."Now back at home with baby Grace, the pair are enjoying being proud new members of the parents club."Now we're just like every other new parent – sleep-deprived and up to our arms in poo and wee, but it's brilliant, it's beautiful, it's such a happy time," says Needs.Palmer says he would like to see changes to the law in NSW to allow access to IVF support and rebates for everyone, including people starting families with the help of surrogates.But for now the couple don't take for granted how lucky they are to have a baby."When you want something so badly and then it comes true, it's so cliche but we consider Grace an absolute miracle for us."*name withheld for privacy reasonsFOLLOW US ON WHATSAPP HERE: Stay across all the latest in celebrity, lifestyle and opinion via our WhatsApp channel. No comments, no algorithm and nobody can see your private details.