“Hands off my daughter,” I yell through the dark. I rest my hand on my weapon, hoping the creep making a move on my teenage daughter gets the message. He does.
“I’m sorry, Mister Roberts. This is the last you’ll ever see of me.” “Thanks, Dad,” my daughter says, running inside our house.
“You and Mom were right about him. I’m going to listen to you from now on.” Cut! I devoted my last column to how I parent my son to grow up feeling secure, capable, and independent.
Should I be any different as a dad to a daughter? In preparation for our August due-date, I’ve been trying on societal archetypes — roles we’re taught to play. One is dad as “heroic protector.” I’ll lay down my life for my son or daughter — of course.
But outside of hypotheticals, how are fathers out there raising daughters to be calm, confident, and self-reliant yet healthily inter-dependent? Backing up, we are in fact letting the gender be a surprise. But early on, I predicted our future child would be female, and I nicknamed the fetus “Henrietta.” That didn’t stick — Alison named it “Birdie,” and I fell more in love with them both that instant.
I refer to Birdie as “she/her.” Alison uses the full pronoun grab-bag. I’m excited to welcome whomever.
And also worried. The pitfalls facing girls are many, and many of them are man-made. One I’ve been contemplating is how often I hear girls and women described as “cute.
” The word once meant “clever,” but ha.
