OPINION: It’s been one whole episode without a single wedding on Married At First Sight NZ season four, so without further ado, let the love stories begin. Ah, who are we kidding. Let the chaos begin.
It all kicks off with Michael (Mike) doing some deep breathing before letting out a scream that can only be described as an alpha male doing alpha male things. Anyone else getting a faint whiff of Lynx Africa right now? “I’m feeling really grounded right now, I’m excited to see who the experts have paired me with,” he tells us and it would be a sweet moment if it weren’t for his best man instantly saying “Damn” as the maid of honour walks in. Who said chivalry was dead? As for the bride, she waltzes in and says “Damn” for a completely different reason.
“I said facial hair didn’t bother me,” she chuckles, looking at Mike’s beard. “I might need to change my mind.” The two come face to face in a silent battle to decide who has the better hair and the winner is made known with Kara’s cam confession.
“I’m balls deep,” she shrugs. “I’m ready to get it done, let’s go.” Our 6ft bride goes first with her vows, which is more like reading your Hinge profile out loud.
Tall, blonde, looking for something serious. My friends say I’m not like other girls. Slay, etc.
For Mike, it’s like all of his Christmases came at once. Unfortunately, the feeling isn’t mutual. As soon as he reveals he’s an Edgar Allan Poe kind of guy, Kara’s face repl.
