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I'm grateful when people want to celebrate my daughters, but the amount of stuff is overwhelming. I started asking parents not to buy new gifts for their birthday parties. Instead, I ask them to bring a toy from their own home for a swap at the party.

After my first child's first birthday in April of 2021, my husband and I found ourselves in a room full of gifts. Although we were moved by the outpouring of love for our girl, we were also conflicted, ideologically and philosophically. Our daughter was the first granddaughter on my husband's side and the first grandchild of mine.



Because I gave birth to her at the height of the pandemic in NYC, neither side of our families had joined together to meet and celebrate her arrival as one big, united group. Her first birthday party became a family reunion and an event to mark what felt like the toughest part of the pandemic. After what we'd all experienced, the loneliness, isolation, and sadness were all palpable at the party.

It was clear that we were all ready to wish those emotions and more good riddance. The birth of our precious babe became a reason to commune, catch up, and commiserate together — to feel joy, hope, and connection again. I loved seeing my family, but the amount of gifts was overwhelming Our enthusiasm for this new chapter was felt in our interactions and our promise to never let as much time pass before we convened again.

Party guests showed their excitement in other ways, too: their gifts. Our daughter receiv.

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