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I never thought of myself as the kind of woman that could be easily duped by a man. But just like spiders take their prey by surprise, spider-webbers entrap you before you even realise you’ve succumbed to their manipulation. Spider-webbing is a relatively new term on the dating scene and describes a combination of manipulative behaviours – such as breadcrumbing and gaslighting – which a partner might use to entangle someone in a tumultuous and unhealthy relationship.

And sadly, it happened to me. Typically, they reel you in by love bombing . My ex would shower me with compliments, gifts, and endless declarations that I was ‘the one’.



He’d text me constantly, sometimes more than 40 times a day, and call me every evening to talk. When they have you exactly where they want you – feeling like the most special person in the world – they bread-crumb you, taking most of the affection and attention away but still throwing you just enough to keep you interested and loved-up. My ex would often lash out at me one day by calling me names, which made me question whether I should stay with him.

But by the next day he would bring me flowers and chocolates and tell me how beautiful I was. Finally, when your self-esteem becomes as broken as mine was, they will gaslight you so that you are too vulnerable, confused and deflated to leave. I met my ex through a dating app.

His polite opening message, asking if I’d like to chat and potentially meet for a drink, was a refreshing c.

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