We live in a world that conceptually and empirically prioritises improving interpersonal relationships. There is an abundance of research that explains benefits of having healthy positive relationships; compassion and forgiveness and nobody can deny those benefits ; but unfortunately in this race of being good to others we many times forget being good to ourselves. We silence ourselves just to be accepted by others.
Self silencing is one of the brutal forms of self- harm. By being unable to say no to unreasonable and undesirable demands and requests we let people ride us; use and control us. We let others disrespect us and exploit us in the name of love.
At times we become overly receptive to the environmental influences to the extent that we silence our ideology and beliefs just to fit in the crowd. We lack audacity to stand by our convictions and as a result though we apparently follow the crowd and trend, but deep inside we feel the dissonance between our thoughts and actions. We idealise others while disowning or shaming ouselves.
We forgive others but don’t forgive ourselves if things go against the way we planned. It’s not uncommon to see people blaming or punishing themselves for the things they are not responsible for. For example, there are many infertile women who assume that their infertility is a punishment from God or there are many young males/females who have been betrayed by the persons they love/trust and then they start hating themselves for being unwort.
