Jennie Prouty (Provided by Author) This feature is coordinated by The Post-Standard/Syracuse.com and InterFaith Works of CNY. Follow this theme and author posted Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday.
My natural state of thinking is usually focused on the present or the future. I’m not someone who reflects on my past all that often. Once an event has happened, it has happened, and I no longer can affect or change it.
Even when remembering past moments that are nostalgic, or I hold great fondness towards, it often takes someone prompting me before I think about it. However, this has not always been the case. I used to have a hyper fixation of the moments in my past.
I would ruminate on how I could’ve said or done something differently - and if I did, how would it change my current reality? There were things in my life I was working so hard towards, and I felt because of past decisions I didn’t have those things in my life yet. This would then cause me to spiral into moments of regret, shame, and self-annoyance. One day during my quiet alone time, I saw an image flash into my mind of threads that made up a larger piece of fabric, and each thread had a defining moment of my life written on it; both good and bad events.
It was at that moment I realized all of these events were interwoven into one another, creating a beautiful tapestry. Each moment was a part of my history, a part of my story for others to see. There would be lessons and laughter and pain that made up who I was, and .
