JP: So, last week we spoke with you, Candice, about abuse—physical, verbal, emotional. You told us abuse pervades all races and classes. I remember you distinctly told us it is not a random surface thing.
Abuse starts off with the abuser accessing our vulnerable need, fulfilling that need, then manipulating and exploiting, whilst isolating us and eroding our every sense of self. Candice: The isolation thing is not just physical and emotional. It is also financial.
They make sure you are dependent financially. The abuser tries to not have you work. Or they will undermine your job environment, so you are never staying in any job for any length of time.
If you are isolated from your family and you have no money, even if you are finally recognising the abuse, you will have little options about where to go or what to do. JP: You mentioned, though, the main protection is having a close circle of friends and family. Candice: You would most times not know when you are being abused until it is far gone.
And that is just how it is. When your ultimate deep-seated need is fulfilled and you are in a seemingly safe and loving space, you let your guard down. With the subsequent and planned emotional manipulation, you are in a swirl, round and round, and it is difficult to know what to do or who to believe.
He loves you, yet he hurts you. You presume independence, and yet you are not. You lose yourself, yet see you through him.
You try to do whatever he says so that it can make him happy, .
