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Two days after Jonathan Fielding fell to his death while taking photos from a scenic overlook in southern Utah, his older sister Rebecca found herself sitting on the same ledge where he had lost his footing. Related video above: Thousands of hours spent rescuing National Park visitors It was Jan. 29.

She had driven some 15 hours from her home in Missouri, where they had grown up. Wracked with grief, Rebecca Fielding said she was in a "really dark place." Jonathan was her best friend, and while she sometimes doubted others’ love for her, she never questioned his.



She said she’d journeyed to Utah to take her own life. Rebecca said she was planning to leave a journal at the site with her last words when the clouds parted and sunlight embraced her. "I felt the sun on my back, and it felt like someone was giving me a hug," Rebecca said.

"And in that moment, things just felt the teeniest bit better, and it didn’t feel as much like the end of the world." So, Rebecca left the leather-bound journal and a pen with a note about her brother explaining "what the world lost" with him gone. She also left a bag of Takis chips, a Spider-Man plushie she had bought at a gas station and some tiny plastic babies – an inside joke between her and her family.

She then drove back to Missouri – with no expectations for what was to come. "My goal was just to tell people what happened ..

. It bothered me that my entire world had imploded at that spot and no one visiting would have any idea," sh.

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